Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
