I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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