Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
