At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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