Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
