Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Houston, we have a blender
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
