Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up under a house in Key West
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
