sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
