bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
