the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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