after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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