you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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