I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize