Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
