Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
