so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
