Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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