just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
