i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
