he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
