Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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