The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
