bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
