THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
