fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
