It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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