hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize