I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I still have a little drunk in my system
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize