Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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(513): View more from Ohio

im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?

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(408): View more from California

just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation

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