thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
