have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
