Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
