I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Are we still banned from the library?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
