Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
