After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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