You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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