I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Quick, to the slutcave!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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