somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
