um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
