you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
