I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize