I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize