I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
