Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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