you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
