I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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