I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize