I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
