like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
