I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
