people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
