If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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