I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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