Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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