at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she told me i tasted like america
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
