Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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