East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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