I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
