Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize