Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Girls should come with a carfax report
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
