No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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